We’re closing in on our three year anniversary mark. Not our wedding day anniversary, that one has come and gone and we barely noticed it (although still very happily married thank you very much, just don’t need to commemorate it on certain dates), but the day we left Sweden.
I still remember the feeling of that last summer and fall before the move. First the anticipation and the excitement, the champagne and the pieces of cake when we got the jobs in Ghana. The absolutely liberating feeling of going into my manager’s office and quitting a job that looked so good on my CV but made me feel like shit. Those 5 minutes are still ranked as one of the top 10 moments in my life. Then later I remember the stress of getting all our things in order; finding a new home for our cats (with my brother), packing up our apartment, squeezing out as much time with all our friends as we possibly could.
We really didn’t know where we’d end up or how long we’d be away. All we knew is that we wanted, no, we needed, desperately needed, a change.
Most of the people I encounter here ask if I miss Sweden, and pretty much all of them look surprised when I say ‘no’. Sure, I can miss certain made-up fantasy-memories, such as walking down a gravel path, listening to the birds in the sheer sunshine at 4am on a june morning, or meeting my friends over a glass of wine somewhere on Söder in Stockholm. But I don’t miss Sweden as such, not a single bit.
A lot has changed in these three years. I have grown, both as a person and in my profession. I have had the opportunity to throw myself into new (and scary) situations and managed to come out in one piece on the other end. And of course, it hasn’t all been great, we’ve had rough patches just as we would have had anywhere. Such as the last 3 months in Ghana. For me, they were unbearable. I wouldn’t have lasted if we had stayed longer.
But now. For the first time in my life feel like there is a steady beat in my life. Sure, life’s a journey and all that crap, but there is a calm that was never there before. I have learnt to appreciate not just the goal, but the way there. You don’t have much of an option when you have to wait for a bus for 6 hours that then breaks down one third of the way. Or not ever knowing if you’ll have power, or water for that matter. You learn to cope and you learn not to care. I just wish I can hold on to that feeling. That all is good.
You know what? I think I’ve finally found a place to call home.
Edited on Oct 30th, fixed a spelling error + some grammatical issues