Yesterday it was our wedding day. We had grazed the subject a couple of weeks ago, but it had slipped my mind, and at 7.30am in the morning we woke up and Peter reminded me. Four years. Four years ago since we married. Four years since that gray Saturday in the park on the spot where we had our first date. A lot has happened since, such as:
- Gone on our honeymoon, which was a few weeks of volunteering in Ethiopia (and my first time back since living there as a kid!)
- Quit our jobs and moved to Ghana
- Visited Togo, Turkey, France, Sweden (multiple occasions), Japan and Sri Lanka.
- Quit our Ghanaian jobs and moved to Australia.
- I became self-employed (and loving it!)
- Said goodbye to a whole lot of friends and hello to a big bunch of new ones.
- Lived in four different apartments and houses
Well I suppose I could add a lot to this list. It is four years after all. And over a really nice dinner at Gills Diner yesterday (where surprisingly enough not a single picture was taken) we came up with this list.
It doesn’t feel like we’ve been married for that long, but looking at this list (and all the add-ons that are in my head) it’s been ages. We’ve done so much, and in ways we’re different people now. What started that day four years ago wasn’t just a marriage. In a way it was the stepping board to realising our dreams. Yes, before I go on, I know this all sounds a bit stuffy, but it’s true.
Because we didn’t marry because we wanted to be married. Marriage was never a goal for either of us. It just happened to be a way to enable some of the changes we wanted to do. I sometimes jokingly say that we have a visa marriage, and there’s some truth to that. Although we do love each other, we wouldn’t have married unless there was a reason to it all.
Over the years since I have come to realise that no dream is unreachable*. Sure, it might feel like an unsurmountable challenge to uproot yourself and move somewhere or quit your job, which I certainly felt quite a bit. But in the end, it’s doable. And sure, it takes a lot of energy, commitment and sometimes it feels like you’re bashing your head against a wall. But push through. In the end it’s worth it. In the end you make it through, and no, it’s not a land of roses and honey and whatever, but it’s what you wanted. And you feel accomplished. Nothing beats that.
But I’m digressing. This wasn’t supposed to be a post about changing your life. This was supposed to be a post about my husband, my best friend, my biggest supporter and the love of my life. Thank you sweets. Thank you for being my partner in this roller coaster ride that is our life. I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.
* At least not when you’re privileged. We’re white, with solid middle class backgrounds and uni educations. This privilege opens doors that very well might be closed to other people. Which saddens me immensely. I want everyone to have those possibilities. They should have. I might be biased saying that we’re awesome people, but you know what? So is everyone else.